Really Good Friends

Days 44-45--Good friends serve you a delicious home-cooked meal when you come for a visit. Really good friends get so engaged in the conversation that they burn the potatoes...and serve them to you anyway.

Good friends listen to your stories. Really good friends tell you the truth.

Good friends serve you a fine wine for dinner. After dinner, really good friends open the old, rare port they've been saving for a special occasion.

Good friends order lobster rolls to serve their out-of-town guests. Really good friends add an abundance of fried clams, fried scallops, and fried onions to the order.

Good friends take you to see the sights when you visit. Really good friends take you on a tour of where they work.

Good friends ask you interesting questions. Really good friends ask you hard questions.

Good friends laugh with you. Really good friends pray with you.

Good friends care about you. Really good friends love you.

Dave and Nancy are our really good friends,

We've known each other for 40 years, since Dave and I (Bas) worked together for The Salvation Army in Boston. I ran programs. Dave wrote grants. In many ways, that distinction has defined our lives ever since. I am pragmatic, no-nonsense, blunt,  Dave is a charmer, engaging, funny.

Like us, Dave and Nancy have two children, a son and a daughter, who were both born at almost the same time as our kids. Dave and Nancy moved into Hyde Park shortly after we did so that Dave could direct the local YMCA. As stay-at-home moms, Lynn and Nancy grew very close. They were in Bible studies together, had endless cups of tea while our kids played together, shared recipes together, learned how to be moms together.

When we agreed to pastor the Blue Hill Community Church in Hyde Park, Dave and Nancy joined us. Each Sunday, Nancy would prepare and type up a wonderful liturgy with responsive readings and carefully chosen hymns. In the early days, adding their two kids to ours doubled the size of our Sunday school.

As with many young families, things change. Dave took a job as the director of a YMCA north of Boston. Lynn and I moved to Wheaton, where I took up my responsibilities with World Relief. They moved their family to Essex, where they already had many friends. 

Despite the separation caused by our moves, we stayed in touch--following the development of our kids, our careers, and our lives. Dave bought a dry-cleaning business that he has run for more than 25 years. Nancy has had a long, distinguished carer in admissions at Gordon College. She now is deeply engaged with several ministries, including a group that cares for survivors of trafficking as well as a foundation that she and Dave began with several other couples to support a school and its community in Kenya.

Their kids have grown up. Both are now married with families of their own. Dave and Nancy have 8 beautiful grandchildren, whom they love. We occasionally visit their children and grandchildren in California. Next week we will be with their daughter and her family in Maine.

We have seen Dave and Nancy infrequently over the years. Our contacts have been limited because we have lived far apart and our lives have been busy.

But, on those rare, special occasions when we do see each other, we realize again that they not just our good friends.

Dave and Nancy are our really good friends.